Sophie the Giraffe

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A baby teething toy, it is squeezie, squeekie, smellie, chewy must have for all babies (apparently).
It looks like something you buy for a dog, but it's packaged with a story about being born in Paris and amazing theories of child brain psychology stuff, with a big price tag attached to it.
It is prenamed for your convenience.

Where and how is it used?

In my childs mouth, up her nose, thrown on the floor.

What did you or someone else pay for it?

£10.99

Why do you want to add it to the museum?

Because every child in the UK appears to have one. And amazingly they really work! Aghhhh!


How was it made?

Is made in a factory

Is farmed

Is mass-produced

Is produced by local cottage industry

Is made to particular specifications

Is craft / hand-made

Is foraged

Is found

Is colonised

Is a service


Materials & Making

Who made or produced your commodity?

Not answered yet

Who was paid to make it?

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What skills does it take to make it?

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Where was it made?

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What does it cost to make it?

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What is it made from?

Buying & Owning

Who decides how much it costs?

Not answered yet

Who or what assesses its quality?

Not answered yet

Where is it sold?

John Lewis and every other baby related shop

Who or what sells it?

Not answered yet

How did this thing arrive from where it was made to where you got it?

Not answered yet

Where is it used?

Not answered yet

Where is it kept?

Not answered yet

How and by whom is it cared for?

Not answered yet

How long will it last?

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Where will it go when it's finished with?

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What is it worth?

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Questions and answers

Answer questions that the commodity contributor has asked. Help to reveal unknown quantities, properties and uses.

Question: Do you think youre clever?

Answers:

Hi there!

My name is Jenny and I am a Commodity Consultant for MOCC.

Intelligence is always a really interesting question, as it is really difficult to measure.

I know that I have an IQ of 134.
I have a 2.1 BA(Hons) Degree in Geography from the University of Exeter.
I have 2 A's and a B at A Level.
I got A*A*AAAABBBCD in my GCSEs.
I have a Distinction in Grade 5 Theory of Music.
I have an A in Grade 8 Choral Singing.
I have a Merit in Grade 8 Classical Singing.
I have an emotional intelligence level of the top 5% of people in the Uk.
And apparently, my general knowledge equates to me having a PhD!!

But these are just the statistics and results I use to justify my own personal intelligence.

The reality is, I have always really struggled with learning things I have never really been interested in.
I struggle at work (I am a Mortgage Broker by week - Commodity Consultant in my spare time), where a lot of my work centres around numbers and computers.
I am really not intelligent when it comes to computers and numbers. Or at least I think.
I only got a C in GCSE Maths, and a D in my short-course ICT GCSE. I'm not sure whether or not this reflects my intelligence in these subjects to a degree - society certainly seems to think so, and these lower grades even prevented me getting into the University of Bristol to study Geography (a somewhat unrelated subject, at first thought).

Our society's reliance on statistics effects almost everything we do; where or if we chose to go to university, what job we have, where we live, our lifestyle, and to an extend; even our interests. I only tend to do things I perceive myself as good at or 'intelligent' towards.

The matter of whether or not one considers oneself to be 'intelligent' tends to be another societal faux-pas. If I say I think I am clever, does that make me big-headed? Arrogant? Would people dislike me more?

Personally, I do not think I am necessarily 'clever', but I would say I am 'observant' 'contemplative' and 'considerate', but, again, I am not sure if these are attributes you would normally associate with intelligence. I definitely have strengths and weaknesses, as do most people. I guess statistics are the most comprehensive and autonomous methods of measuring one's intelligence in relation to the general population.

I hope this has been insightful,

Kind regards,

Jenny

by MoCCconsultant on May 14th at 1:29pm

Question: Are you tasty?

Answers:

Hi!

My name is Alice and I am a Commodity Consultant for MOCC.

From the information I have found below, if you like pork, you might just find humans tasty too.

“There is one form of human meat that's considered just about acceptable to eat. Many people choose to eat the placenta after childbirth, a practice known as "placentophagy". To prepare it, you need to remove the umbilical cord and membrane, and then treat it in a similar fashion to liver, which according to Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall is roughly what the result tastes like. You can chop it up and fry it, or mince it to make quite a rich Bolognese. That's all very lovely, as you can see from the video below, but like the liver the placenta probably isn't that representative of the general taste of human flesh….
Similarly unhelpful is the opinion of a cute little robot developed by NEC System technologies and Mie University. The "electromechanical sommelier", is "capable of identifying wines, cheeses, meats and hors d'oeuvres." On tasting the hands of human reporters, it identified one as bacon and another as prosciutto. We're homing in on pork again here, but unfortunately the reporters didn't bother to skin and cook their hands before placing them in the robot's jaws.
What we need are some proper cannibals, and where better to start than one of Germany's most infamous citizens, the cannibal Armin Meiwes. Having eaten an estimated 20kg of his victim, Meiwes is something of an expert on the subject, and in an interview from his prison cell he was more than happy to explain the taste: "The flesh tastes like pork, a little bit more bitter, stronger. It tastes quite good."
Does his opinion tally with the experiences of other Western cannibals? After a bit more searching I found the case of William Buehler Seabrook, a journalist with the New York Times who traveled extensively in West Africa nearly a century ago. Fascinated with the concept of cannibalism, he persuaded a medical intern at the Sorbonne (the University of Paris) to give him a chunk of human meat from the body of a healthy man killed in an accident, which he cooked and ate, describing is as follows:
"It was like good, fully developed veal, not young, but not yet beef. It was very definitely like that, and it was not like any other meat I had ever tasted. It was so nearly like good, fully developed veal that I think no person with a palate of ordinary, normal sensitiveness could distinguish it from veal. It was mild, good meat with no other sharply defined or highly characteristic taste such as for instance, goat, high game, and pork have."
So we have one for pork, one for veal. Clearly a sample size of two isn't enough - we need more people. And here's where we descend into the really grim part: it turns out that many people may have eaten human flesh unintentionally.
I'll start with infamous Pole Karl Denke, "a devout, peaceful, generally respected citizen of Ziębice" who "turned out to be a cannibal who killed 40 people before his arrest (and immediate suicide) in 1924. He pickled their flesh in jars and sold it on the Wrocław market as 'pork'."”

Source: What does human meat taste like?
https://www.theguardian.com/science/the-lay-scientist/2010/sep/05/human-meat-taste-cannibal

“According to Issei Sagawa, who killed and ate a Dutch exchange student, it tastes odorless, is not at all gamey, and is delicious.

From an interview with him:
Also, you know how beef or whale meat has a sort of beastly smell to it? Human meat is odorless. I actually believe that human meat is the tastiest of all meats. It doesn’t have any of that gamey animal smell. When I ate some more a couple of days later, just before I got arrested, the meat had become sweeter and it tasted great. The meat on the soles of her feet smelled bad, though, and didn’t taste very nice. The neck was the best. The meat tastes more delicate as you move up the body, especially above the torso. Her tongue was delicious as well. I took it out of her mouth and chewed on it raw. Neither the neck nor the tongue has much meat on it, though, so if you really want to feast, you should eat the thighs.”

Source: Quora
https://www.quora.com/Cannibalism-What-does-human-flesh-taste-like

If you would like some wine to go with your meal, the huffington post has collated the following:

“Everybody’s talking about the “Zombie Apocalypse,” and even those in fine dining are having a laugh with it.
Take Maynard James Keenan for example. To the public eye, he’s the frontman for the rock bands Tool and A Perfect Circle. In his off time, he’s a winery owner — and today he answers the age-old undead question: What wine goes best with human flesh?
He recently offered wine recommendations to would-be zombies who want to wash their down their brains with something besides blood, at the behest of the Miami News Times.
Keenan believes that if someone is chewing human face, a pinot noir is best — except when you’re eating the nose.
“That’s mainly cartilege so you’re better off with beer. It’s more aligned with hotdogs or bratwurst,” he told the Times. “That’s true of the nose as well as the lips.”
On the other hand, oenophile zombies who are going straight for the tongue are better served with shiraz.
“The tongue is heartier and is going to have a little gamier of texture,” he told the paper. “I’d go with a larger shiraz with some oak in it. Barolo, if you serve it raw. If you serve it raw with olive oil and herbs, you’ll want a Barolo.”
It may seem tasteless to pair wines with human body parts, but it’s a subject that has been up for debate, at least in popular culture, since Hannibal Lecter spoke of dining on human liver with fava beans and “a nice Chianti” in the 1991 horror classic “Silence Of The Lambs.”
However, Washington D.C.-based wine buff Chris McGurn thinks that’s a bad choice.
“I would personally avoid this, as the Chianti might be a little too light for the fattiness of the liver,” he told The Huffington Post. “A Barolo would be a much better choice of Italian wine.”
Brains are considered the body part of choice for discerning zombies. Damien Casten — who runs Candid Wines, a distributor of small production wines in Chicago — recommends consuming them with a chenin blanc from Saumur or a chardonnay from the Maconais in Burgundy.
“Of course, this assumes that you are simmering the brain in a cream sauce,” he said. “This also assumes that you have time to treat the brains gently, and that will often mean soaking them in milk for a few hours.”
Meanwhile, former wine shop owner and confirmed foodie Laurie Chambers Laizure believes that aspiring zombies would best be served — literally — by pairing wines from the same region as the person being consumed.
“Grape flesh, like human, is largely water-based. As such, the varietal as well as what it absorbs through its environment will be large contributors in how that tastes,” she said. “Other factors might be age, physical and health condition. For instance, an overweight woman non-smoker should taste far superior to a muscle bound man who smokes.”
But Nic Pelaez, a sommelier at Saltbox Dining & Drinking in San Diego, disagrees. He said that smokers are the best humans to pair with wine.
“For pairing purposes, I would recommend picking a meaty person who has tobacco notes — a smoker — as well as someone who enjoyed berries throughout their life,” he said. “Also, the lazier the better — they’re more tender. So stick to couch potatoes and videogamers.”
Meanwhile, Casten believes that cooking method — or lack thereof — is important to consider.
“I’d guess that uncooked face is texturally pretty chewy with a fair amount of muscle. If there is no time to braise, I’d need a ton of acid to cut through the ‘meat,’ so I’m going to pull a magnum of young Grosses Gewachs (grand cru) riesling and drink all I can before the bullets start flying.”
Like all of the people interviewed, Casten has never actually sampled human flesh and is not a zombie. He was quick to add that he never expected to use the knowledge he gained working in French restaurants to recommend that reisling and face might pair well.”

Source: Zombie Apocalypse: Singer Maynard Keenan Weighs In On Wine Pairings For Human Flesh
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/15/zombie-apocalypse-wine-pairings-human-flesh_n_1585591.html

by MoCCconsultant on May 14th at 11:06am

Question: Are you a clone?

Answers:

Hi there!

My name is Jenny and I am a Commodity Consultant for MOCC.

This is a really interesting question.

In terms of flesh, I believe everyone is different.

But in terms of my things and the commodities I use to express myself, I am a clone. I am a clone of the messages I seek to give, I were a lot of mass produced clothing meaning there is a high possibility that there may be hundreds of people today wearing the same clothes as me.

I hope you have found this insightful,

Kind regards,

Jenny

by MoCCconsultant on May 14th at 1:52pm

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